12 posts tagged “project runway”
Fuck you, producers of Project Runway. Seriously, you change the rules of this fucking game so many times to get the "right" people into the final three. Those who create drama or who "design" along some aesthetic. Fuck the fucking game, man. Jerrell won the last challange and you went and said, "Congrats, but you still need to compete in one more game that we're going to ARBITRARILY create because, well, we want Kenley to bring her bitch to Bryant Park" NOT FAIR ASSHOLES.
Anyway.
At least Korto and Leanne are still in. One of them needs to win.
Horseshit. Whatever happened to your balls, Project Runway? Last season, it was all, "Oh Chris March, your looks are too costumey!" But this, this gets a pass? She looks ready to appear on stage as Ursula in the broadway production of The Little Mermaid. It's a joke. What a cop-out. You just wanted more drama and Kenley=Drama. And how isn't this a big fuck you to Jerrel, who won the last challenge? "You won, but you have to compete AGAIN."
Whatever, Magical Elves.
Everyone knew Suede was in over his head, but...
Kenley's look was AWFUL. I'm more hip-hop than that look. And her attitude is just sickening -- nevermind what she said to Tim, it's like everytime she goes on the runway, she picks a fight with a judge. Santino learned to stop doing that, Jeffrey never did that, even Christian, the few times he was on the chopping block, knew not to sass La Nina and Her Highness Michael Kors.
Anyway, she looked a lot like Britney Spears this week. Does this mean she's going to have a meltdown next week and totally shave her head? I would totally tune in for that.
I don't know how many people realize the depth with which my mind and heart adore Project Runway. I started watching the show at one of my more doubt-filled times of life, and I think it was the lightest and fluffiest thing about my days. When every day feels despair-laden and drudgery-filled, you tend to moor yourself on the light and fluffy. Also, unlike other reality shows, Project Runway and Top Chef are essentially shows about creative people. This is just my long-about way of explaining that I occasionally dream about Project Runway -- being a contender despite not knowing how to sew, being a judge despite being a grad student in Minnesota and by no means a fashion icon, and then about hanging out with the designers. So, Tuesday night, I dreamed about the show, and woke up Wednesday morning convinced on who of the remaining designers would be the top three.
Choice: Leanne, Korto, Jerell. And from those three, it's hard to pick a winner, but I think it's Korto. My dad thinks it's Jerell.
Reasonings:
Leanne: Leanne had a rough start, but she has a definite aesthetic (noodles!). Everything she makes is very constructed and creative and interesting, like Diana Eng with more experience. At the beginning, she called herself the silent fashion assassin, and at the time I rolled my eyes, but now I'm seeing it. I knew that she was only a "technical" bottom on last night's episode, that the Judges need a third to bring drama to the whole "Who's the bottom two?" selection process, but you could tell the way the Judges were like "Um wejustdon'tlikethejacket *cough cough* anyway you're in."
Korto: After her one experience in the bottom Three, Korto has become like the Chloe or the Jay of the season, which I why I think she's more likely to win. Chloe and Jay were themselves "silent fashion assassins." coming in second place most of the time, winning seldomly, but pulling together a final show that makes the judges cream their pants. I keep wanting Korto to win, and she keeps getting slightly beat out by someone else (lately, Jerell and Leanne). I think I may in my secret heart-of-hearts be rooting hard for Korto because she has a design aesthetic that includes the curvy and the plus-sized woman, and doesn't force the curvy and the plus-sized to wear just larger versions of what the skinny girls are wearing. I know if she'd gotten Joe's model last night, who was built on stockier lines, she would have made something that would have made the girl look GORGEOUS. Like Uli in season three with Kayne's mother (I'm STILL pissed she didn't win the mom challenge). Oh well. Anyway, KORTO FTW.
Jerell: Speaking of rocky starts, can we talk about the Olympic challenge? I haven't laughed as hard at something sent down the runway since Sweet P's mens-wear fucked-up collar and too-long tie (he looked like Clark Kent got fired and was coming home drunk). Jerell's olympic model looked like she wandered off the stage of a rehersal for the new musical, Homoklahoma. And his Drag-Queen effort was disappointing, especially since he could have gone way over-the-top (speaking of that challenge, why not have Chris March judge in full-on Princess Leia attire?). None-the-less, Jerell keeps on keeping-on because he's the fashion equivalent of the little girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead (when he's good, he's very, very good and when he's bad he's horrid). He can design the shit out of things, like this week, and despite his affection for weird hats, he's actually making pretty awesome shit most weeks. Last night's design? LBCS and I were like, "Well, he's gonna win" the second that girl walked down the runway. Plus, Jerell listens to Tim -- like last week, when Tim expressed concern about it looking like a school-marm's jacket reconstructed, Jerell was like, "Right, let's tackle it then!" He's also the best collaborator, I think. In both challenges where he worked in a team, he pretty much nailed his design and made his partner feel happy and comfortable. My dad thinks Jerell is going to win the whole she-bang, and I could see it happening, but we shall see. Also, he's so charming, even when he's being bitchy. I think what it is is that he says it to people's faces, and jokingly, and takes jabs in return good-naturedly. And what is with his damn hats. They crack my shit up everytime.
Now, onto why I didn't pick the remaining two:
Suede: Oh, Suede. I think a lot of people are angry that he's still here, but I'm not angry, just confused. It's the nature of the show -- even though he does badly, someone always does worse. Plus, he did win a challenge, and for the most part he got by with a "Not a winner but good effort." Some would compare Suede to Ricky, but I compare him to Sweet P -- he's a bit out of his league, he's a bit uncomfortable, but he keeps getting by and putting in a solid effort. I think he may be the love child of Sweet P and Kayne, because he's got this questionable taste mixed with a sweet befuddlement. You can't really hate him, and after a while, you kind of love him. Granted, if he made it through and one of my top three got kicked out, I'd be annoyed. Not going to happen, though. I think he knows he's on borrowed time now.
Kenley: Strong but limited aesthetic mixed with a profoundly unprofessional demeanor. It's good to be assertive -- like Korto was with Joe ("You gotta speak up, homes, because I have immunity and it will be YOUR ass on the line!"), but Kenley, kinda like early Santino, doesn't know when to turn it off. It's one thing to sell your garment, it's another to stand up there and tell the judges that they clearly have NO idea what they are talking about, and to then tell Heidi that she doesn't know about boobs (Heidi was all, "Meine Titsen disagree.") And holy shit, how hilarious was it in the avant garde challenge when she defended her piece by screaming adjectives that describe aquarius and finishing up with "PURPLE!" I peed a little, and the rest of the week my roommates and I have been screaming "PURPLE!" at each other. It's as good as "That crotch is inSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!" a'la Michael Kors. Truth is, that dress looked like some crazy Disney villianess. It was as if Kenley was like, "What's avant garde? Oh, that's right, bubble shit" and ignored the rest of the challenge. Poor Wesley. Anyway, for one, Kenley is overly-arrogant. For another, she doesn't listen. For a third, she's a mean girl. It was a little funny when she laughed at Daniel on the runway a few weeks ago, but it wasn't funny anymore this week. Then, it seemed like a one-time thing. Now, it just seems that she can't separate her personality from her professionalism. Truth is, if you're going to be a heinous bitch, don't do it in front of the judges. It's one thing to talk about people behind their backs -- which she does. It's another to let that leak out on the runway, in front of people who do take note of your attitude. If the Judges start to notice that you're intractable and arrogant when on the bottom, and smug and cruel when you're on top, they're going to think about that. AND -- she can't take as well she gives when it comes to meanness. When Emily and Leanne were rolling her eyes at her, she said the patented high-school-bitch phrase, "It's so RUDE when people talk about other people RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM." God, I hope the reunion episode leads to a full Kenley pile-on, where everyone's like, "Why are you so heinous? Why?"
CHRIS MARCH! CHRIS MARCH!
DRAG QUEENS!
DANIEL AND HIS STUPID FACE AUF'D!
Only thing would have made this better would be if Terri won. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride damnit. Terri is my choice to win. Girl is effin' fierce. Girl is so fierce she would eat Christian for LUNCH and make an outfit out of his bones and it would be twice as fierce as anything anyone could make.
Kenley is getting on my nerves this week. It was funny last week, now she's just being obnoxious.
Blayne needs to cool it with the -licious. I wish Leanne had barf-licioused on him.
Korto is the designer equivelant of that friend you have who says she's not smart or funny at all but who is actually twice as smart as funny than everyone, so she says "OMG I AM SO BAD" and then whips something out that makes you go "FUCK I WILL NEVER BE AS AWESOME AS YOU." Most of the time. I think she's only made one or two not very good garments, and everything else has ruled. I like that she has confidence crises every now and then.
I still think Suede is adorable, but then again, I love puppies. And he is just an anxious Golden Retriever puppy with a blue fauxhawk. Everything about him says, "Please like me. Please like me!" And I say, yes Suede, I like you.
Ok, and how did the straight guy make the top drag queen design. It's especially weird that he said, "I have to imagine I'm making a costume for my daughters." Um, Joe? Would you want your daughters wearing that? Be honest with me, please.
Anyway.
CHRIS MARCH! WOOOO!
Daniel: My taste is impeccable...
Kenley: Bah-hahahahha!
Heidi: Why are you laughing?
Kenley: I'm sorry, ignore me
Me: I totally have been in Kenley's shoes.
Pineapple: Yeah. I have a feeling she should be our friend.
Here's the deal.
I don't plan on voting for John McCain, but that doesn't mean I think he's the devil. Quite the opposite -- eight years ago, when I actually WAS young and naive, I would have voted for him. Seriously -- I thought he was like "Republican Light." I didn't know much about politics then -- I know more now. Now, he's demonstrated that he would support policies that I don't support (overturning roe v wade, action against iran, staying in iraq), I don't want to give him my vote. Same as four years ago, I would be voting for whoever was ideologically opposed to the incumbant party. I would be voting democrat no matter what.
That in mind, I refuse to be "negative" this campaign. I may get angry when the GOP invates the STP for their conference in September, but I promise to avoid unnecessary negativity re: John McCain. Because again, I won't vote for him, but he's not the devil. I will avoid reading blatantly negative and one-sided things about him. I will only concentrate on why I want to vote FOR someone, not AGAINST someone else.
And I suggest you do the same, my fellow Americans. And if the answer isn't Obama or McCain for you, find your third party candidate. Let's just be a democracy here.
I, for one, am voting FOR Obama because he his pro-choice, because he wants to develop a plan to get us out of Iraq, because he believes in National Service and so do I. Because he says he wants to work across the aisle, and stop the bipartisan insanity that has been our nation since before I was born.
Does this mean he will do all these things? I don't know, but I trust he can and I hope he will so he has my vote.
Now, these rules won't apply to Project Runway. I plan to be fucking VIRULENT about those who I hate on the new season. When it begins. In twelve days.
UUUUUGH.
Looks like it's Project "Self-Aggrandizing Asshole" again this year. I didn't realize all it took to impress the judges was to present costume ideas for Shakespeare in the Park. And that last dress? Fuck'n GOZER the Destructor dress?
Just, whatever, what the fuck ever.
*stomps off*
I'm sick and tired and about to go to bed, but not before I say here and now that I was PARTIALLY right in my runway prediction (in that Chris March would beat out someone like Rami for a spot in the final three). He did and didn't. So I kinda love it because it means Rami is going to have to fucking BRING IT to compete with Chris, and kinda hate it because I think Rami should be out. He did nothing original -- he set a template for a dress the first week and made the same thing over and over again with a few exceptions -- but all those exceptions were due to the limitations of material (candy challenge, denim). And sure, Chris did get eliminated, but that I think was premature, same as Kit's elimination, or Alison's elimination last year. Chris was up and down but he always brought something dramatic, if not always tasteful. Christian and Jillian both made it in part because they are talented and in part because they weren't afraid to take risks. Chris is similarly a risk-taker and I want want WANT to see a show by him. I couldn't give a crap about Rami's show. We get it, you can drape. Try to be inspired by something else!
If the beagle can win Westminster...
BUT. It's good TV, isn't it? Oh, Runway, I can't seem to get sick of you.
Ricky is gone! Ricky is gone! Ricky is gone!
And Chris WON!
I needed this after the day I've had, a further description of which should be written and described in detail when I'm not so tired. (Short version: Math class fisticuffs!) But I want to enjoy this.
Chris March wins! Ricky out! Best episode of the season!
