motown throwdown

a new insult.

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:31:34 -0700

I accidentally invented a new insult tonight.

Fartstain.

Apart, the words are just mildly unpleasant - yet vaguely amusing - words. Fart. Stain.

Together, they boggle the mind with the disgusting imagery which is conjured up. Fartstain. It has the same effect of panty and waste together. Apart, mildly gross. Together, HORRIFYING.

I am afraid of what I have unleashed unto the world.

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barking dogs

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:59:24 -0700

Holy shit. I forgot that volunteering to work at the clothes-selling place over the weekend of the Fourth meant volunteering to work on my feet all weekend while people went INSANE. Is time-and-a-half worth it?

Yes. When I pick up my sweet new frames on Monday, it will be worth it to have worked all weekend to afford not just vision treatment, but SEXY vision treatment.

The BONSTER is with us for a week, and I for one am thrilled. She's the raddest dog ever. Although right now, she's in front of a fan, exhausted -- because she and Pineapple were locked out of the house from 10am until I got home at 6:30pm. Pineapple said, as I walked to the stoop with a puzzled expression on my face, "I've been out here all fucking day. We're getting pizza."

Which is fine by me.

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in which i stop watching the news.

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 14:55:54 -0700

Here's the deal.

I don't plan on voting for John McCain, but that doesn't mean I think he's the devil. Quite the opposite -- eight years ago, when I actually WAS young and naive, I would have voted for him. Seriously -- I thought he was like "Republican Light." I didn't know much about politics then -- I know more now. Now, he's demonstrated that he would support policies that I don't support (overturning roe v wade, action against iran, staying in iraq), I don't want to give him my vote. Same as four years ago, I would be voting for whoever was ideologically opposed to the incumbant party. I would be voting democrat no matter what.

That in mind, I refuse to be "negative" this campaign. I may get angry when the GOP invates the STP for their conference in September, but I promise to avoid unnecessary negativity re: John McCain. Because again, I won't vote for him, but he's not the devil. I will avoid reading blatantly negative and one-sided things about him. I will only concentrate on why I want to vote FOR someone, not AGAINST someone else.

And I suggest you do the same, my fellow Americans. And if the answer isn't Obama or McCain for you, find your third party candidate. Let's just be a democracy here.

I, for one, am voting FOR Obama because he his pro-choice, because he wants to develop a plan to get us out of Iraq, because he believes in National Service and so do I. Because he says he wants to work across the aisle, and stop the bipartisan insanity that has been our nation since before I was born.

Does this mean he will do all these things? I don't know, but I trust he can and I hope he will so he has my vote.

Now, these rules won't apply to Project Runway. I plan to be fucking VIRULENT about those who I hate on the new season. When it begins. In twelve days.

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calling for interview subjects!

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 08:03:08 -0700

Interested in being interviewed for a research paper on Sex Ed in the U.S.? What was your experience in high school? Leave a comment or email me at bukokat@gmail.com.

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out with the lisa loeb, in with the...

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:04:07 -0700

These may be my new frames after my eye exam tomorrow.

They're blue on top, "gunmetal" on the bottom, and they're on sale, sale, sale, which is their big appeal. They're on a "special" right now, which means I get frames, lenses and the whole shebang for $100, instead of paying $100 for frames and another $200 for special lenses.

My only hesitation is that they are DKNY, and I am pretty much convinced that Donna Karen is an evil harridan. BUT. They are stylish, and I've had my Lisa Loeb frames for almost five years now -- it's time for a change. Plus, i think they look pretty good on my moonlike face -- they're longer than my current glasses, and make my eyes seem even bigger. I hope to get them before i go get my MN Driver's license, so that I have a chance at looking slightly better for what will inevitably be a terrible photo.

Opinions? Thoughts?

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a quick loveletter to my MP3 player

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 06:52:40 -0700

Oh, my dearest mini iSchwartz, you make my life so wonderful. Where else can I go from an audiobook on Queen Elizabeth to Margaret Cho standup at the click of a button? Where, I ask you? Nowhere. And though I run with you, you do not skip. And though I occasionally drop you, you do not break. All you ask is that I change your rechargable battery once in a while. You are so very dear to me, mini iSchwartz. Kisses.

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graduations and babies

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 11:05:41 -0700

I've been dogsitting, and now I'm in what the Natives called "Milleh-wah-keh" for the weekend. My cousin graduated and they are throwing a party, so I came to give a card witha $20 target gift card in it. As well as advice for the college-bound millenial. "Two forms of birth control everytime." I'm serious about this, graduates.

Anyway, I've also been tired what with school and work.

Also, we threw a big party.

So now I'm going to go to my cousin's graduation party, where perhaps there will be booze and I can begin my declaration of being the familial black sheep. I plan on getting inappropriately drunk and encouraging the two cousins who are still in high school to do all the crazy shit they can while they're still young and able to heal fast.

Actually, I will probably just drink water because it is hot as balls out there. I may have one beer for my pregnant sister-in-law to enjoy vicariously. Maybe I'll wait until Beeper's (my other pregnant sister-in-law) baby shower next week to get inappropriately drunk.

Did I mention that both my brothers are procreating? Because they are. It's an eventful year in the extended Tigi connection. But I do not want to get pregnant and join the party. Mrs. Sunshine told me about things like "cracked nipple cream" and stitches "down there" and I've decided to opt out. Oh, also watching my little second cousins at the Brewer game yesterday. The 4-year-old was great but the 1-year-old kept screaming at an octave that breaks glass. Torn coochies and screaming children = Tigi gets her tubes tied.

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i can't watch meet the press

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 07:21:49 -0700

It's too sad today.

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it has come to my attention that the state of Iowa is under water

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:01:13 -0700

If you want to see some crazy shit, go to my friend Lyz's blog. She lives in Cedar Rapids, IA, which is currently being consumed by the Cedar River. With any luck, Lyz will be up here this weekend, where she can shower and use the internet at a place that is not Panera.

We <3 you Lyz! Be safe!

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end and beginning.

nobody@vox.com(tetetetigi) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 06:57:55 -0700

I’d been tutoring Dee and Bri all year, watching these girls gain more confidence in math and celebrating when Bri got an A+ on a test. One day, one of them said something about the lattice method of multiple digit multiplication, and got a chance to ask them how it was done. I’d seen students doing it all year, and was baffled by it.

Dee got out a sheet of paper and wrote two large numbers on it, then set up the “lattice.” “You multiply each number like this, and then you add up those answers like this.” She set up another lattice for me, and I tried it. After I got my answer, we double checked with a calculator. It was right.

“Good job, Ms. T,” Dee said, patting my shoulder. “You’re a good student.”

“I have a smart teacher,” I told her, and she grinned.

Whatever happens to the rest of the kids I've worked with, these two will kickass in high school.

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