my own cringe series

Sometimes I'll go weeks without injuring myself (although when I pointed this out to LBCS she said, "Will you?" in a doubtful tone, and I had to concede the point) and then I'll injure myself a bunch in a short span of time.  Behold, in the past four days I've had a bowl of dip fall on my head, scratched my arm on broken glass, and biffed in the parking lot at work, creating scrapes up and down my legs that look worse than they actually are.  A friend of mine also sustains as many injuries as I do, but she does Roller Derby.  I just exist.

Sometimes, I'll go months without strange things happening, and then in the span of twenty minutes, a myriad of strange events will happen.  Witness, last Wednesday on campus I saw a shirtless guy chasing a squirrel, a random middle-aged asian guy take my picture for no reason, and another young man skateboarding towards Hewitt Ave, singing what I supposed to be opera.  I end up going to class with a perplexed expression, wondering if these were all signs from a god I may or may not believe in. 

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And sometimes, I'll go weeks without blogging, because I have a fairly small audience and a fairly regular life -- by regular, I mean I have tasks and habits that detract from my public show of self reflection.  I have fallow periods with my private journal, too.  Sometimes it is my lifeline, and sometimes I can go weeks without needing it.  For a time, I think it is because I'm getting older and maybe "outgrowing" these things, but I'm not, because I've been doing this -- writing to myself, that is to say -- since I was eight.  That's almost twenty years of talking to myself.  I didn't save the earliest efforts, partly -- actually, entirely -- because I feared my brothers would read them.  And they did, once that i knew of.  To my cousins, who were the COOLEST people in the world and it sucked to have my inmost thoughts betrayed to them.

This brings me to my point.  

A while ago, Lyz did a series on that which made her cringe from her old journals, inspired by the book Cringe (which is delightful).  I've been thinking about copying her, especially since the comparison between Young Lyz and Young KT is entirely hilarious.  Young Lyz was very religious in her writings, Young KT was writing through her last days as a Catholic in a blaze of profanity and incoherence.  Young KT drew pictures -- that were intended to be LIGHT-HEARTED, mind you, of Young KT destroying her enemies in myriad ways.  This was all pre-Columbine, I must point out, and I know that while I was a lonely soul through my junior high and high school years, I was still fairly well-adjusted and had no real designs for chaos.  That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy imagined chaos.

Also, I had the penmanship of a mildly psychotic adolescent boy (to which I can picture LBCS and Pineapple raising their eyebrows in unison and saying, "Had?")

So here is episode one of that which makes me cringe -- 14-year-old me making her "I AM" statement to no one in particular when she should be paying attention in English class. 

"Still 5/20/97 (just thought you'd like to know)" 

Well.  Hafta be a useful part of society.  Back in a second. 

Alright, I was a useful part of society, now I can be normal.  I had to do math problems and learn something.

I wonder if anyone who gets a hold of this notbook in the future will wonder what I was like and if I really accomplished anything in school.  Why yes, I did.  Hello, person reading this.  I'm here to tell you I did accomplish good grades my freshman year.  I'm just rather apathetic and prefer to write in my notbook or write to my friends.  That part of life always seems more interesting. But yes, I do get As and Bs.  Every once in a while, I get a C.  Those teachers usually retire after they give me a C.  Mainly cauz they're all old.  No wonder they gave me Cs.  THey gave me Cs cauz they're old and blind and suffering from old timer's disease. 

(Shut up, justin.  Yer stupidity personified.  There, I said it) [Note from '09 - I probably didn't.]

I'm not an over achiever or an under achiever, I'm just another being wandering aimlessly through my life, a person on this continual journey, wondering where the hell will this end up.  For the moment, I'm ona  happy strech of life where things seem okay.  But it's kinda spoiled by my enemies and people who don't like me.  Why don't they?  I dunno but that's their loss.  I don't like not liking people from the first meeting,s o I try being nice and if they don't wantto be my friend fine whatever just don't bug me, I won't bug you if you don't bug me.  So.  Person reading this, that is me.  I'm Bored.

I'm kinda getting sick of all this Romeo and Juliet hype.  It's starting to get on my nerves."